Adoption Story - Part Two

Wow...so much has happened since I posted Part 1 of our adoption story. We discussed and prayed about some controversial issues, God has spoken to us loud and clear, we had a few bumps in the road, and we traveled 1,500 miles across the country to get our tiny baby boy. So, here is Part 2...


I suppose I'll start with the controversial part. My doctor suggested we use a sperm donor since we don't think I have any fertility problems (although I do have endometriosis - it is not severe). I have always been extremely against this, period. But my doctor had a very valid point - we could control the prenatal care and the baby would at least be 1/2 me. And using a sperm donor would cost $5,000 versus the roughly $30,000 fee for domestic adoption. So, we decided to pray about it and see what God had to say. Of course, I asked for a bright, blinking neon sign. Sometimes God sends those and sometimes He speaks in a still, small voice. I had no idea how He would respond to this prayer but He definitely responded. The next Sunday in church Bro. Buddy's sermon was on marriage and how there is not room for 3 people in a marriage. Well, using a sperm donor adds a third person. I don't want a third person in my marriage. Then, out of the blue I picked up the Home Life magazine on the way out of church and there was a long article on adoption. I had never picked up the magazine before. So, I think it was pretty clear God was speaking to me about our decision. This was the first time I remember God speaking that loudly to me. But still, I kept thinking maybe God would tell me something differently...mainly because of the money. But He kept speaking to me in His still, small voice that adoption was the right road for us. Although, I didn't get a burning bush, God still spoke very clearly to me. So, we decided to stick with the adoption plan. I know God is bigger than any issue we may have and we prayed that God would set aside the perfect baby for us, that God would protect his parents and him, and that he would inherit the best of both of them. God is bigger than prenatal care, or the lack thereof. "And, behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the LORD was not in the earthquake: And after the earthquake a fire; but the LORD was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice." (I Kings 19:11-12).

In August, we needed one last step to complete our home study - the Newborn Education Class. I tried to schedule a private one at a local hospital but I never could get the lady to call me back. So I finally called another hospital and a lady there helped me find a hospital in town that offers the class. I called that hospital and they were offering the class that night - otherwise we'd have to wait until October. So, we went that night and we had a great time - so much more fun than we ever thought it would be! God worked that out for us too...He knew we didn't need to wait until October! By September we were officially on the active waiting families list at Heart to Heart. The social worker told us our wait would be shorter because we were open to either boy or girl. She said the waiting list for a girl was long and 2010 was the year for boys. We still had no idea how short our wait would be! We got quite a shock when she told us what the fee was for a Caucasian baby. We thought the range on their website was based on how much care the baby's mother required but it isn't...it's based on the race of the child. We wanted a Caucasian baby because we wanted the child to feel as much a part of our family as possible and it not be obvious to the whole world that he is adopted. That being said, all babies of all races deserve a good home. But like our social worker said, each adoptive family needs to go the route they are most comfortable with. There are enough bumps in the road without making the road any more rough. So we were $10,000 short and that didn't include our travel expenses (flight, hotel, etc). We almost backed out and told the agency we would have to wait until we could save some more money but God took care of the money we lacked. When God has a plan, nothing will deter the fulfillment of that plan. He already knew when and where we would go and who our baby would be. He knows the end from the beginning...He sits outside time. "Remember the former things, those of long ago; I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me. I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say: My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please." (Isaiah 46:9-10).


In October, our agency called about 3 different birthmothers - all three expecting baby boys. The first birthmother chose another family. The second decided to parent. The third wanted to talk to us and another family. We talked them and our conversation went great. We talked about everything from weather to what they looked like, their hobbies, and their families. We didn't know if they would choose us or not but we were thankful for the experience of talking to them. Then our social worker called and they wanted to talk to us one more time before they made their decision. So we talked to them a week later and they chose us on Nov. 11. His due date was Dec. 10 - less than a month away. His mother had been receiving prenatal care, no drugs/alcohol/smoking and both parents were willing to sign the termination of parental rights - God took care of those worries! We were very excited - cautious - but excited. Then, our social worker went out of town for a couple of weeks and no one at the agency was able to really talk to our birthmother. It was really beginning to look like she was going to change her mind. If she changed her mind we would just go back on the list but we would also lose some money. I was really concerned about that because we couldn't afford to lose a lot. But then one of the girls filling in for our social worker told me that we would only lose what they had actually spent on our birthmother, not half of the adoption fee (which was what I thought). Then, the following Monday, our social worker called and said our birthmother still wanted to place her son with us. We were still somewhat anxious and didn't want to fly out until she signed the papers. Then Wednesday, she called back and said he would be born Friday (on his due date). Finally, Friday came and he was born, a happy and healthy 7 pounds and 19.5 inches, ten fingers and ten toes. We then flew to AZ on Sunday to get him. It was the most surreal experience of my entire life. God was there and everything was perfect. Her room number was my birthday and we adopted him on my dad's birthday. Grandma would have been tickled! Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. (Hebrews 11:1)


We stayed in AZ for 10 days. They went by really fast. I would never have dreamed they would go by really fast but they did. Our days revolved around him and we were constantly doing something for him. We stayed in an Extended Stay America Hotel which provided a small kitchenette and washeteria. I think we spent $30 washing clothes during those 10 days. We met with our baby's birthparents three times. It was a true blessing to meet them and get to know them as real people. One day we will be able to tell our son all about them. We got to see a part of the country we had never seen before. I had never seen the desert or mountains with cacti on them. The mountains really are purple at sunset! And God was there. Then we flew home on Dec. 22 - over the Grand Canyon (which we couldn't see for the clouds) and the Great Salt Lake into SLC. We saw the most beautiful snow covered mountains from the SLC airport. Then flew across Utah, Colorado, Kansas, Oklahoma, and Arkansas into Memphis, then home. God was there too. "...And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (Matthew 28:20)


For months I had been so sure this was God's plan for us. Then, my faith really started to falter when we thought our birthmother was going to change her mind. I'm so ashamed of that. But God fulfilled his promise. We have our baby boy and he's our perfect gift from God. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)

I hope our story touches your heart and you can see how God has blessed us throughout the entire adoption process. I have seen more of God's handiwork this year than I have in my entire life. He is still very busy and it's an incredible testament of how much He loves His children. I firmly believe the fertility options would have failed. But if they hadn't we wouldn't have this child and we wouldn't trade him for the world. God has turned infertility into a beautiful, indescribable blessing for us. This child is our son that God hand-picked for us. He has a very special plan for this little boy's life and I'm beyond blessed to be his mother.